Constantine Platanias

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Constantine Platanias

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Onion Headlines

Condescending 911 Operator Asks If Caller Tried Using Fire Extinguisher

Luxury Hotel Maid Folds Mattress Into Swan

Friends Make Pact To Get Married If They’re Both Still Ugly When They’re 40

Mom Heartbroken That Daughter Looks So Fat In Casket

Amazon Unveils Giant Camera That Tells Users What To Do

Runoff From Rogaine Factory Improves Trout’s Self Image

Runoff From Rogaine Factory Improves Trout’s Self Image

Skydiving Instructor Not Opening Parachute Until You Change Tone

Husband Files For Divorce After DNA Test Reveals Child Only Shares Half His Genes

Black Market Organ Dealer Tired Of Being Asked If He’s Seen ‘Squid Game’

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